“Can We Really Take the Bible at Face Value?” (observations by KPKeelan)

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WARNING:

THIS POSTING IS NOT FOR PEOPLE WHO SEE THE BIBLE AS THE LITERAL WORD OF GOD. Some of the content might offend them. After all, it comes directly from the Bible…

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Psalm 137:9

“Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.”

2 Kings 18:27

“But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? Hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?”

Deuteronomy 21:18-21

“If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.”

Judges 3:19-24

“But he himself turned back at the idols near Gilgal and said, ‘I have a secret message for you, O king.’ And he commanded, ‘Silence.’ And all his attendants went out from his presence. And Ehud came to him as he was sitting alone in his cool roof chamber. And Ehud said, ‘I have a message from God for you.’ And he arose from his seat. And Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out. Then Ehud went out into the porch and closed the doors of the roof chamber behind him and locked them. When he had gone, the servants came, and when they saw that the doors of the roof chamber were locked, they thought, ‘Surely he is relieving himself in the closet of the cool chamber.’

Deuteronomy 23:1

No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.

Ezekial 23:19-20

Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.

Genesis 19:30-36

Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to lie with us, as is the custom all over the earth. Let’s get our father to drink wine and then lie with him and preserve our family line through our father.”

That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and lay with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I lay with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and lie with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went and lay with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father.

Hosea 13:16

Samaria will be desolated, because they have rebelled against their God. They will fall by the sword, their infants will be dashed to pieces, and their pregnant women ripped open.

Deuteronomy 25:11-12

“If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.”

We should fear God (Matthew 10:28)
We should love God (Matthew 22:37)
There is no fear in love (1 John 4:18)

(Numbers 31:17-18)

“Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourself every girl who has never slept with a man.”

Metaphors? Enlighten me. Seems like pretty sick stuff to me!

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© Kevin Paul Keelan and lastcre8iveiconoclast, 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Kevin Paul Keelan and lastcre8iveiconoclast with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About KPKeelan

Fool, Philosopher, Lover & Dreamer, Benign TROUBLEMAKER, King and Jester of KPKworld, an online portal to visual and linguistic mystery, befuddlement and delight.
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3 Responses to “Can We Really Take the Bible at Face Value?” (observations by KPKeelan)

  1. paul reimer says:

    These, of course, are taken out of their contextual and culturally historical meaning. If one read the entire passages, one would conclude that obviously they were handed down by a fair God, a righteous God. It’s quite obvious by these passages and others, if I may quote from Genesis 1:27,: “And God created man in His own image…”
    Well he sure as fuck must have.

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  2. “If one read the entire passages, one would conclude that obviously they were handed down by a fair God, a righteous God.” Really? This is “obvious”? Not to me Paul. Like the U.S. Constitution, believers in the Bible tend to fall into 2 camps: Strict constructionists, who take the Bible literally and defend every word as “the Word of God) and those who see it as spiritual metaphor, thinking that we need to go back to (like the framers of the Constitution) the ORIGINAL INTENT of the men who wrote the Bible. But how can we know their intent? These men are long-dead. They wrote about the events in question hundreds of years after they happened and the cultural context of many of the metaphors are completely lost in the hazy shroud of Time. I would love to hear ANY ARTICULATE BIBLICAL SCHOLAR explain the original meaning behind these verses, starting with the first one. Somebody? ANYBODY?(Appreciate the feedback Paul! Appreciate the dialogue.)

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  3. This was quite amusing and shows how unless we know complete context, we should never follow any text as some kind of manual to answer all things. I do not know that I would necessarily connect it toward the Constitution movement in the US, though. At present, I am in a legal librarianship course and the amount of litigation, statutes, bills, etc. is astounding. It would be be better for society if our mandates and laws of the land were simplified, because both theoretically and from an achievement standpoint, people would be more motivated to follow them and have a higher rate of success in so doing.

    Re: these quotations, these have to be the musings of random people who just happened to be archived in the same text. I do not have a religious background, but from what I can gather, most of the churches just hang on Revelations.

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Love to hear your (constructive) thoughts!